Shattered to bits my 2018
Shattered to bits even wet nursing wiggles took its tole
Hi there readers before I write about Christmas and beyond (oh firstly HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE) I should say that I’m sorry for the lack of content this year and shattered to bits and re glued over and over is my description of my 2018
Imagine you’ve taken possession of a favourite piece the joy it brings is amazing and you feel lucky to have the piece you got, 6 months later you find it has cracks you put this down to the age and wear but it bothers a little
Moving on a couple of months you find yourself adding glue to the piece for the first time when you find it’s been broken, now you know it’s truly worthless but as a display piece it’s ok and you try and forget about the whole thing.
This doesn’t end you will find that piece broken again and again and you find yourself gluing and re gluing, the shattered pieces get smaller each time adding more work and heartache to this continuous situation, that’s how I’d explain my 2018 went in collector jargon.
The year shattered half way through
I do not remember the start of 2018 being any more or less stressful than any other year I could say the move was stressful but that was about it, I started feeling myself getting depressed in the summer I had suicidal ideologies whilst planning a wedding how messed up is that.
and at my lowest ebb I remember sitting in the front room with tears streaming down my face as my wife to be and daughter were having a full blown argument about bridesmaids dresses, the fact I had tears coming out was because it felt like all the fun and happiness was being sucked out of this special occasion.
Debbies dad has been a big part in the way I feel and think I’m in no way saying he depresses me quite the opposite actually, pops has vascular dementia and is 86 he went from a very poor state where we thought we were going to lose him and now I see him like superman, yes he has had to go to a care home but he’s defying the odds everyday.
Being in hospital for months on end whilst he’s care was being sorted out and when he was ill put a stop to any honeymoon and it was myself that suggested the wait just until we knew he was being cared for plus I was physically shattered myself, I now spend my days feeling sorry for mum in law whom is still at the family home it’s a crazy situation we never saw coming.
Creating self recovery even had issues
The specs given were totally wrong
This all started out last summer when I had the money to get a scooter and I had issues with both the DVLA and the passport office, I’ve been told since I’ve been s shattered and stressed that these departments haven’t done anything wrong and it’s my own thinking from mild stress related psychosis.
I disagree with that fact and here’s why ! On the passport website it’s states if you have a mental or physical disability then you can phone a number explain the situation and have what I think is a interview over the phone ! WELL the passport office asked me if I could go to their office to explain I have mental health issues and cannot make the journey (can you see my point here).
The DVLA spent 5 months deciding wether or not it matters if you hold a licence going over a cliff or into a wall, a bit graphic but I want to point out if I were ill and wished to do harm a licence shouldn’t even be considered and after the 5 months they sent me one but I have to change it yearly everyone else 40 years how is that fair.
I got the idea to go green instead I had put my fingers up to these problems put it down to my normal bad luck sprees and decided to buy an electric mountain bike OMG ! This nearly broke my will (no pun intended) 2 months late it arrived and with broken parts I had to get fixed then it was realised the bike is to big to keep anywhere in our apartment and may need to be sold.
Changing the mindset once again
Wiggles hoping for a better 2019 and knuckling gets better
It’s not all Doom and Gloom though folks it’s 2019 a new year of possibilities and challenges to overcome, I’m still seeing the community psychiatric nurse but I’m hoping to get better this year so that I’m eventually seen as sane lol and discharged back to my dr thank you to those on social media that know me and talked me through some hard times.
I have new content to publish I just need to find the self esteem to get back to what I love doing and giving up or giving in is not going to help create a record of Collectibulldogs for future readers, I think as I’m truthful about my mental disorders I might chat to our new host and have a blog segment for this.
Opening up really helps me and it’s easy to explain to others giving a greater understanding of mental health, my own journey and hopefully others may want to come forward and talk about their experiences, there will be changes coming to the website and maybe my journey could be just as much part of the Collectibulldogs story as the pieces are.
Anyways I’m going to publish this article and then get on with telling folks what Santa brought in 2018 and after that I have a few articles that need publishing too, here’s to a more productive and lucky 2019 for us all well especially myself, I have an Australian friend whom if read this would send me a KICK UP THE BUTT MESSAGE and that’s what I plan too do.
need to start paying our new host and when that starts I can say what is being done to change the website square one digital gave us free migration and a months free hosting so I’ve not paid out any funds yet, my idea to use my drone for doggy videos went out the window when the poor lass got knuckling but I have ordered a 360 degree camera with a VR set up so hope I can create content from that.
In 2017 Collectibulldogs held the worlds first bulldog memorabilia exhibition, in 2018 we won awards for the website so I am intrigued as to what 2019 brings ! If it’s just the website getting 100 percent search engine optimisation and all the internals sorted then I’ll see that as a win it’s not something our first host offered but Sean at squareone digital actually wants to help get better.
Please use the Trustpilot system provided and please share our content it’s not easy getting exposure this early in the year so any help would be grateful, while I’m talking about the website and blogs would you like to come guest post Christmas has just gone and the readers would love to see what others got ! I’ll be sharing mine in upcoming content.
Thank you for reading my rant I wanted to explain the not just the lack of blogs but my own self too, I hope you all had a great end to 2018 and for those with New years resolutions I wish you all the luck in the world and to those that did not make it a week remember there’s always next year.