DISORDER AND ORDER A COLLECTIBULLDOGS GUEST POST
Hi I’m Debbie here today to talk about disorder from a mental health carer prospective
Hi readers it’s Eiffion’s wife Debbie here hi how are you after some discussion on blog ideas I thought it would be educational to talk to you all about living with Eiffion’s disorders in and around the venture he created from very high times and dangerously low points too,
All must know now that my Eiffion has a few diagnoses from a mental health prospective and as I live with him I can give insight into what keeps Eiffion going and what I can only say as times where he’s felt so crippled and alone his wanted to give up.
I’ve been with Eiffion for 23 years now I know he had a Victorian style childhoodsith physical and mental abuse from his parents and the over responsibilities put on him as a child have filtered through to adulthood the same with childhood fears an example would be he hates the bath room (most men do lol) but being serious as a child he was often locked in a cold damp bathroom overnight.
When we sleep I struggle to move Eiffion holds on so tight I can just about breath when he was a child his father woke him up for school everyday by lifting the bottom of the bed upwards this cruel whiplash giving sick joke was called lamp posting it must of been horrific, I’ll keep other examples private unless people leave a reply and Eiffion wishes to respond.
OCD THE DISORDER THAT NEVER STOPS
Eiffion has a complex OCD issue he may joke that the obsessive part helps him gain on growing his social media but it has darker sides too, in one of he’s blogs Eiffion himself explains that an accident we had at home was solely down to OCD magical thinking and Eiffion had thought the two were connected because he had messed up one of he’s rituals.
Eiffion will not mind me saying this and others he works with or around and that’s he is very passionate about all he does but to the point he is always inpatient and everything needs to be done there and then, due to the honesty he gets away with working with people after they get an understanding of what the disorder can consist off.
PTSD DISORDER HOW WE GOT HERE
Back when we were a lot younger we had just bought home our now 16 year old daughter she was 2 months premature I was poorly and Eiffion was struggling to survive as a man on he’s own whilst I was in hospital so I came home, just after that We were burgled (attempted) and in the darkness and scuffle Eiffion was stabbed in the upper chest.
This had a massive effect on us all but has never left Eiffion’s thoughts till this day, he lost he’s job his confidence and masculinity he put energy into being a dad but has struggled nearly everyday since, flashbacks and nightmares are just a couple of Eiffion’s afflictions but other things like having a light on is essential for him to feel safe at night.
PTSD DISORDER CONTINUED
The trouble with PTSD and it’s symptoms is that anxiety and paranoia goes through the roof and due to this we have moved seven times in the time I’ve known Eiffion it’s been very stressful for myself and Chloe as we know all of Eiffion’s fears are in his head but for a continued quiet life we have moved on to where I can say happily that Eiffion does not worry so much about surroundings or area as much as he used too.
UNSTABLE EMOTIONAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
The most embarrassing of Eiffion’s disorder list if you ask him is this mouthful of a diagnosis, he finds it red facing as it’s more common in us women 1 in 4 and 1 in 10 for men, psychiatrists have said it’s from he’s youth and it’s essentially where he cannot control whatever emotion pops up at the time.
From watery eyes (I was asked not to put crying) to complete irrational thinking to the triggering from certain things Eiffion is always shifting from one emotion to another and when they finally found the right medication this became much more manageable, I’m not saying everyday is great but I can say over the past decade Eiffion has become a lot more like his old self again.
DISORDER TO PASSION
He is a pain in the behind sometimes but I love the man
I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS MAN To of survived what he has, to be a real man and hold down a loving relationship and to achieve all this sacrificing his wants and desires to create a dream a legacy for a daughter he worships, I’ve seen him in tears over the website I’ve seen him so down when there’s no response to he’s calls for assistance and I’ve been there every time he has wanted to pack it all in and just sell up and give funds to our daughter.
The passion from Eiffion to keep this going is sometimes unfounded and I’m still coming to grips just how far he’s reach is now and some of the formats I’m forever changing he’s passwords on I’ve never heard of but he has created a huge following over many of the formats.
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
We are both forty now so I understand Eiffion’s urgently to push the venture forward he states one day he won’t be around and wants others to know about this form of collecting through he’s dream of opening a museum but he needs to find the right person that can see his dream too.
As the venture was created by my man pride runs through me when I stop to look at the pieces he has gathered I’m proud of the fact he has kept the website family friendly and I know he would never collect any bad pieces from the days of blood sports and I can be witness to say due to the breed Eiffion has never been approached by those that are wrong and use the breed as part of that culture.
Today is the day my daughter gets her prom dress fitted she is still buzzing from the Mac book surprise her father did for collage in September so I’m going to have to go or a pestering moody teenager will be eating at my ear (funny though as when it’s for others she doesn’t budge lol Teenagers ay).
Please Help Eiffion where you can I’m no expert but I do know views to the site give him a sense of achievement and when he gets comments or reviews he literally does a Dance around our coffee table, he is a humble man a little modest but a gentle kind soul and not just the champion of anti stigma for mental health or the Englishbulldog bulldog he is and will always be my champion first and foremost.