The November rain really poured this year !
Hi Readers heres to hoping your all well and good, I was not going to state the next statement on here but felt it right to do so as I share my life and mental health in the hope of helping others The November rain really poured this year ! and it’s i that’s left soaked In an emotional bubble.
I lost my sister Teresa on the 4th of November she passed away very quick and I did not get the chance to say good bye, her other siblings were there so I do not feel to guilty but it’s a shock to myself and my family.
As my wife was reaching to show comfort in a time of need the worst November ever slapped us in the face, her father my super hero father in law passed away yesterday in a nursing home he was dementia patient but had defied the drs for over a year previous
With the added notion it’s our first wedding anniversary month and my wife debbie is pregnant 🤰 the birth comes this December it’s bitter sweet and both of us are in limbo at the moment, it’s hard to be joyful now yet it’s the happiness about having a baby that’s keeping us both going.
The November rain really poured this year !
Rumours have hit my ear before that November is a terrible time of year and many lose loved ones but as you hear it every day you don’t ever think it will happen to you, in our case we are having to grieve twice now.
The family is receiving extra support ! My wife is now seen more and been offered talking therapy whereas my CPN (community nurse ) has increased he’s own support with my self for the next coming year.
I feel like Atlas with the world on my shoulders, after losing wiggles this year and thinking my website would not get built I felt that was all the grief I’d have to deal with so now having two family members pass away has hit us very hard indeed.
My Sister as I will always remember her was a no nonsense English version of an amazon warrior she was tough but had a heart of gold, she’s now with her favourite dog Titch and not in pain anymore, debbies dad is my hero anyone in their eighties with a six pack gets my respect and I’m going to miss this quirky endearing gentleman ever so much
This part of the crises is something I cannot handle without medication my thoughts turn into over analysing disruptive ideologies and that’s when I start to lapse, being strong for debbie is how I’m coping right now.
With the collection packed away and a home not fit for a baby we are trying hard to move to another home but the slap in the face It feels we are pushed back months and no one wishes to help even though we’ve had all this strife lately.
it’s easy to say don’t worry we will be ok but I do think we will I’m not having thoughts of self harm to control the anguish maybe it’s the medicine maybe it’s my will power to be a strong husband to my wife, it does not excuse anything but I have lost family before whereas Debbies family have not had to deal with a death before.
Our daughter 17 year old chloe mai bought a tear to my eye last night she had come home from work but instead of a grumpy tired hungry young lady a more mature and dignified chloe Mai came home and with chocolate ice cream and some flowers for her mum.
With Proof like this I know we are going to make great parents again and thank Lady Luck so much for the opportunity, I’ve said before our first daughter wants to be a paramedic once she hits university and we couldn’t be prouder of her choice.
Even though it’s a man made concept Time is a cruel friend we have with us telling us we have all the time in the world but this just isn’t true, if your in differing opinion to loved ones isn’t it time you made up or that phone call your putting off could now be the time to dial that number.
The reason I state this and I’m the same is we all think there’s always time, time to talk time to patch things up, time to right a wrong, well Time is lying to you and the more it gets put off the harder it becomes to beat time and make that move.
Time has flown by (if it had wings ) this year and 2019 has not been a kind year but we live in hope, with a new arrival due in a few weeks and some counselling we hope that we can grieve normally without added stress but also be a strong family unit for sienna our baby princess in waiting.
Not everyone has the luck we have had and out hearts ♥️ go out to those that cannot reach this stage in life we ourselves had waited 17 years for a second child to be conceived and my wife and myself have been together nearly a quarter of a century.